AUKUS subs’ temporary base is permanent again: Mr Conroy loses his trousers in Washington, startling Elbridge Colby
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Written by

Marcus Hellyer and Michael Shoebridge
August 01, 2026

Marcus undertakes an emergency mercy flight to Washington DC to comfort and counsel Department of War deputy Elbridge Colby, stunned by the stab in the back from America’s Aussie ally on American access to a sub base in Western Australia. After telling Americans and the world that US subs use of the base had always been time limited and would end in 2032, Mr Conroy undertook an intense self-criticism session. Demonstrating his flexibility, he then directly contradicted himself on instruction from his Party senior, Deputy Prime Minister Marles. But the damage was done. It turns out America is just the most recent nation to experience the dangers of trusting Australian officials on anything to do with submarines.

In another looming disappointment, the subs won’t have a dry dock until the 2040s, and perhaps won’t even have a floating dock before the mid-2030s. Perhaps going home actually makes sense.

Beyond the support session for Mr Colby, the Grumpies find time to assess the Australian Defence organisation’s latest achievements in transparency, contrasting these with the fresh approach of the local Canberra Integrity Commission that names everyone involved in a corrupt multi-million dollar construction program – because that is in the public interest. Meanwhile, the Federal government is fighting to not release unclassified information about nuclear waste plans, and Defence is suppressing the name of a senior officer facing allegations of financial and other misconduct.

The episode ends with an assessment of prime minister Albanese’s attempt at national leadership on AI, which is mystifying in its failure to engage with almost all the key issues.

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